Following reports that former Chinese premier Zhu Rongji has died at 97, global economic institutions announced an emergency counselling programme for markets experiencing complicated feelings about his legacy.
Zhu’s reforms helped propel China’s rapid growth while contributing to conditions later associated with excessive debt and trade conflict. Accordingly, delegates will sit in a circle and address an empty chair labelled “Market Liberalisation,” using only non-judgmental language and seasonally adjusted breathing.
“Debt is not toxic; it is a balance sheet communicating an unmet need,” said a fictional facilitator from the International Committee for Macroeconomic Closure. “Likewise, a trade war is often just two tariffs struggling to establish secure attachment.”
The programme will conclude when every finance minister can say “structural adjustment” without trying to restructure somebody else. Until then, the world economy has been asked to remain in the waiting room and reflect on why it keeps confusing growth with emotional availability.
