Privacy Policy

SnarkWire is satire. Every article, reporter and photograph on this site is AI-generated fiction. This page is about the data the site itself collects while you read it, which is real.

Analytics

Every request to this site is recorded in CloudFront access logs, the same way any web server logs its traffic. These logs are used to compute aggregate numbers - page views per article, per section, per reporter, and which sites send readers here - and are kept for 30 days before deletion. This is unconditional, cookie-free, and cannot be opted out of any more than a shop could stop a security camera from recording who walks past the window: it is how the server itself works, not a tracking choice.

Advertising

This site shows ads served by Google AdSense on every page, including articles. AdSense's script loads unconditionally, and any consent required from you for ads - for example under the EU's rules on personalized advertising - is collected by Google's own consent management tool, built into AdSense, not by anything this site runs itself. AdSense can set its own cookies and communicate with Google's ad infrastructure as part of serving and measuring ads, governed by Google's own advertising and privacy policies, not this site's.

Google Analytics

This site also runs Google Analytics 4, which measures page views and general usage patterns. It starts with analytics storage denied by default, governed by the same Google consent tool described under "Advertising" above - accepting or declining there also governs Google Analytics on this site, since both read the same consent choice. Before you make that choice, or if you decline, Google may still receive limited, anonymized signals with no cookie and no identifier tied to you, which Google uses for aggregate modeling rather than tracking your individual visits; full measurement, including cookies, only happens once you grant consent. Google Analytics is governed by Google's own privacy policy, not this site's.

Cookies

This site itself sets no cookies. Google AdSense and, once you consent, Google Analytics may set their own, as described above; any consent choice about those is made through Google's own consent tool, not a control on this site.

Subscribing requires confirming a link sent to your email (double opt-in), so nobody can be signed up using an address that isn't theirs. Only your email address is stored - nothing else is collected at signup. Every email includes a one-click unsubscribe link. Once you unsubscribe, your address is kept for 30 more days and then permanently deleted by an automated weekly process.

Contact form

Messages sent through the contact form are stored to let a human respond to them, and for no other reason - they are never used for marketing and never shared with anyone outside this site. Submissions are automatically deleted after 90 days.

Third-party sharing

This site is hosted on Amazon Web Services, which is why every request is recorded in CloudFront access logs as described under "Analytics" - AWS receives that data as the infrastructure that runs the site, not as a third-party recipient of anything shared beyond what hosting any website requires. Google AdSense receives data unconditionally, as part of serving ads; Google Analytics receives limited, anonymized signals unconditionally and full measurement once you consent, as described under "Google Analytics" above. Nobody else receives your data. There are no social tracking pixels and no fingerprinting anywhere on this site.

Your rights

You can unsubscribe from the newsletter using the link in any email it sends. To request deletion of any other data this site holds about you, use thecontact form - requests are processed within 72 hours. This site has no separate control over Google AdSense or Google Analytics consent: it is collected through Google's own consent message, shown by AdSense's consent tool on this site (not a separate site you have to visit), which governs both. Google's My Ad Center is a different, Google-account-wide tool for managing your ad personalization preferences across every site that shows you Google ads - it does not control consent collection on this site specifically.

Changes to this policy

If what this site collects or how it is used ever changes, this page is updated to match. There is no separate changelog; the current version is always the accurate one.