A federal judge has ordered Trump's White House, CNN, MS NOW and Politico into nineteen sessions of family systems therapy over the press ban. The White House has been diagnosed as avoidant and told to list nineteen things it appreciates about the press. Politico asked to be seen separately.
"...and that was when the White House asked to attend as an empty chair," said Dashiell Quaye, spokesperson for the three outlets, on the courthouse steps on Tuesday. "The judge said no. The chair needs a person in it."
The court had just ordered the White House, CNN, MS NOW and Politico into nineteen sessions of supervised family systems therapy. The order answers the outlets' lawsuit, filed after their reporters were stopped at the gate following President Trump's announcement that all three would be banned. The first session is next Tuesday. Attendance is mandatory. Phones go in a basket.
I have covered this rupture from the start. When the White House first went no-contact with CNN and Politico, I named it as a boundary. When the First Amendment declined its invitation to mediation, I honoured its choice. I want to be transparent that I am still processing both.
Judge Marisol Okafor-Bright is not a licensed therapist, but she did read the intake form very carefully. She wrote that the ban "presents as a constitutional question but lives in the body as an attachment wound." The White House, she found, has an avoidant style. The press corps has an anxious one. Together, she wrote, they form the cycle every couples counsellor recognises and no couples counsellor can bill enough hours to fix.
The order sets ground rules. Each party speaks for three minutes without interruption. "I" statements only. The White House may not call CNN "fake," and CNN may not say "the administration" in a tone. Both sides must arrive having journaled.
The gate as a metaphor, and also a gate
Dr. Petra Vanterpool, the court-appointed facilitator, met reporters afterwards at a cafe across the street. She has already bought nineteen cushions, one per session, and wanted to talk about the entrance to the grounds.
"When you stop someone at a gate, you are saying something about your own permeability," she said. "The Secret Service is not the villain here. The Secret Service is the family member who gets asked to hold the anger nobody else wants to feel." She would like the Secret Service to attend at least one session. The Secret Service says it is "reviewing the request," which Dr. Vanterpool called "textbook."
The networks' decision to suspend pool coverage came up. So did the president's speech at a later event, which went out largely inaudible. Dr. Vanterpool did not see a boycott. "That is stonewalling," she said. "Very common in the withdrawal phase. The president spoke and the room did not carry his words. Ask who taught him that silence is how you get heard."
"Nobody in this system is the problem. The system is the problem. But also, one participant in the system controls the gate, and we will be naming that."
Colby Strand, the White House's newly created deputy director of boundaries, said the administration will comply. It will attend "from a place of strength." The president, Strand added, has "a lot of pre-existing clarity about his needs" and will not be journaling. Journaling, he said, is "for people who don't own the outlet that publishes it."
Did the White House accept the diagnosis of avoidant attachment? Strand said the White House does not have attachment. "We have access. Access is not a feeling. Access is a door." Told of this, Dr. Vanterpool closed her eyes for a long moment. "Yes," she said. "Good. That's the work."
Politico asks to be seen separately
Not everyone is arriving in the same emotional posture. Politico's counsel filed a motion asking to be seen alone for the first four sessions. It cited "different rupture histories" and said it did not want to "carry CNN's stuff into the room."
CNN's team called the motion "a little hurtful." MS NOW said it was "sitting with it." The judge denied the request but let Politico bring a support person, so long as the support person is not a lobbyist.
Dr. Imogen Ferreira-Lask teaches Relational Geopolitics at a small college that would prefer I not name it. She told me the case fits a wider pattern. "Every administration has an inner child. This one has decided the inner child gets a badge and a lanyard and the press does not. That is role reversal, and the family literature is very clear on where role reversal leads."
She hopes the sessions surface the real question. "The president says he is protecting the space. From whom? From questions? Questions are curiosity with a microphone. Curiosity is how the nervous system says, I am still here, I still want to know you."1
Homework has been assigned
Each party must complete a worksheet before the first session. The White House must list nineteen things it appreciates about the press, a number Strand called "aggressive." The outlets must list one thing they appreciate about being stopped at the gate. CNN submitted "the walk."
A "reintegration ritual" is scheduled for the final session. Reporters will approach the gate together. The gate will open. Everyone will notice how that feels. The president will then be invited to say what he needs, in words, into a microphone that is switched on.
I want to be honest about where I am. I believe in repair. I believe a free press and an executive branch can learn to co-regulate. I also believe one of them owns the building, and that this is the thing we keep circling and never say out loud. I want to hold space for that. The space is currently behind a gate.2
Footnotes.
The microphone at the event in question was not the problem. The networks that usually carry the sound had left. The footage confirms the president spoke. It does not confirm what he said. ↩
The court has booked a courthouse conference room instead. It has nineteen chairs and no gate, which Dr. Vanterpool called "the first honest room in this story." ↩
