The total solar eclipse of 12 August traversed Spain, the United Kingdom and Iceland to the arcsecond, in accordance with orbital mechanics that have been publicly available for some centuries. Tens of millions of observers confirmed that the daytime luminosity of the sky decreased and then increased again. This finding is, statistically speaking, unremarkable and yet.
The substantive development occurred inland. Vehicular areal density across west and north Cornwall is understood to have crossed the threshold at which a population of stationary hatchbacks accretes into a single self-gravitating mass, rounding itself under its own weight. The Institute for Provincial Gravitation has accordingly submitted paperwork reclassifying the Land's End overflow car park as a dwarf planet.
"Totality lasted a little over two minutes," said Dr. Melisande Ferrograve, duty geophysicist at the Institute. "The tailback is currently forecast to persist until the heat death of the universe, or Thursday, whichever proves more tractable."
In Iceland, cloud cover intervened. Observers there reported experiencing the eclipse as a period of slightly greyer grey, which is, in fairness, the mechanism by which most Icelandic weather is experienced.
- 1. The Moon submitted no advance notification, holds no permit, and has never once been issued a fine.
- 2. Spanish observers noted the sky darkening amid a heat wave, the only documented case of weather improving.
- 3. Attendees who booked accommodation eighteen months in advance have been reclassified as a control group.
