“...breached the Black Friday barrier, leaving us with nine hours to stabilize the retail timeline,” I told the review board today. My team ran the numbers on Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days. We found 99 televisions priced below the absolute limit of late November.
The event is a temporal anomaly. Black Friday is the absolute zero of consumer electronics. Prices cannot drop lower without halting time itself. Now Samsung and LG screens are cheaper in October. The sheer mass of the discounts is pulling November backward into the present.
I explained our buy-or-wait call to the board. A buy-or-wait call is a test we use to see if reality survives a flash sale. If a shopper waits, the calendar holds. If they buy a cheap Roku on a Friday in October, the temporal friction will ignite the atmosphere. We put nine test subjects in a sealed room with the early deals. Every single one tried to buy a screen. We had to cut the power to the lab.
The board ignored our warning. The chair said the Sony prices were just too good. We advise the public to hide their credit cards until the sale ends.
