WASHINGTON—Following reports that White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt is leaving the role while continuing as an outside adviser, the administration’s Inner Child has converted the press briefing into a daily co-regulation circle, sources feel.
Under the new trauma-informed protocol, reporters must identify the unmet epistemological need beneath each question before receiving the communal talking cushion. Requests concerning policy will be gently reframed as attempts to impose certainty upon a government still exploring its relationship with disclosure.
“We want to hold space for the press corps without reinforcing its dependency on externally supplied answers,” said a fictional senior official for Narrative Wellness. The briefing ended when the nation was asked to journal privately about why it keeps raising its hand.
