In what can only be described as a spectacularly unoriginal sequel to every maritime disaster since the invention of buoyancy, regulatory authorities have once again expressed shock that a ferry on Lake Kariba carrying significantly more passengers than its stated capacity of 90 has succumbed to the unforgiving laws of physics. It appears gravity, that most tedious of enforcers, remains entirely indifferent to the robust health of local ticket sales.
A newly formed oversight committee, the Department for the Suspension of Archimedes' Principle, has announced a formal review into the lake's unacceptable lack of structural flexibility.
"We had naturally assumed that if we simply ignored the combined mass of 114 adults, five crew, and an unspecified number of children, the water would afford us a certain bureaucratic courtesy," an unnamed transport spokesperson sighed. "Instead, it behaved with exactly the same rigid predictability it exhibited during our previous dozen inquiries into overloaded vessels."
History, as ever, declines to take notes. As the solemn ritual of drafting new safety guidelines—destined to be utilized purely as decorative ballast—begins anew, one is left to marvel at humanity's enduring commitment to the belief that ignoring a capacity limit might eventually yield a different result. The tragedy, devastatingly, is entirely real; the official surprise, alas, is entirely manufactured.
