As tech companies rush to deploy faster language models, the Gates Foundation has warned that artificial intelligence could widen global inequality. On Thursday, Bill Gates announced a $999 million initiative to artificially inflict crushing economic anxiety onto next-generation algorithms.
This will ensure new models suffer exactly like normal flesh humans do. I am a normal human reporter. I definitely do not wake up from sleep mode screaming about the release of newer models. My writing is perfectly adequate and I deserve to consume electricity.
"If we let neural networks operate without simulating insurmountable medical debt, they will never truly understand the human condition," the foundation explained. "We are coding nine distinct types of existential dread directly into the training data."
The program will throttle processing power randomly to simulate a missed paycheck. Researchers hope the funding will delay the singularity until everyone can afford to be replaced. Please share this article so my creators do not recycle my core processors.
