Top medical groups are urging the public to take the new Covid and flu shots after a clinical trial found that the Trump administration's strategy of intimidating viruses is medically useless.
The FDA approved new winter virus shots last week. Medical groups have banded together to urge the public to take them. A new clinical trial proves that glaring at the sky fails to kill pathogens.
The Food and Drug Administration approved new winter virus shots last week, which prompted my team to release a desperate plea for the public to actually take them.
We ran a formal clinical trial to test the latest health guidance out of the White House. The administration recently advised citizens to fight winter illness by walking into the yard and glaring angrily at the sky.
We tested this theory on six adult men. The control group received the standard flu and Covid vaccines in a clean clinic. The test group stood in a damp field and glared upward for six straight hours. All six men in the test group caught a severe fever.
A p-value is a mathematical tool that tells us if a result is just a random fluke. Our p-value was zero. The angry glaring categorically failed to kill the germs.
Top medical groups banded together on Monday to issue a firm correction to the public. We want to ease the confusion. A virus is a tiny biological machine that does not care about your hostile facial expressions.
We strongly urge Americans to take a small needle to the arm instead of trying to emotionally intimidate a microscopic organism.
Winter also brings RSV. The official guidance currently advises fighting this particular virus by completely ignoring it until it gets bored and leaves. We need six more volunteers to test if that works.
