The masked heavy metal icons are dividing up their jumpsuits and requesting privacy during this difficult time.
Heavy metal band Slipknot has parted ways with long-time DJ Sid Wilson. The remaining members are reportedly navigating a brutal custody battle over the group's gas masks and boiler suits. Auditions for a replacement are demanding high fashion and extreme turntable skills.
Darlings, grab your smelling salts. The unthinkable has happened in the glamorous world of nu-metal. Slipknot has parted ways with their beloved DJ, and the heavy metal social season is simply ruined.
A devastating statement briefly graced the band's website before vanishing into the night. They announced they would "no longer be associated" with Sid Wilson. The romance of the last two decades is completely dead.
Variety confirmed the sudden exit. The metal community is currently clutching its collective studded pearls. But here is where it gets INTERESTING, darling...
The custody battle over the band's terrifying aesthetic is going to be brutal. Sources say Wilson wants to keep his extensive gas mask collection. The remaining members are demanding full custody of the matching industrial jumpsuits. High-powered celebrity divorce lawyers are already involved.
"It is a deeply amicable split, but we are keeping the barcode logo," a representative for the band allegedly sobbed. "We ask that fans respect our privacy. We need time to transition into this new chapter of screaming aggressively into microphones."
The search for a new mask
The scramble to find a replacement is already the talk of the town. You simply cannot just hire anyone to wear a nightmare-inducing latex mask. They must have poise. They must know how to operate a turntable while headbanging at dangerous speeds.
Auditions are reportedly being held at an exclusive warehouse in Des Moines. Hopefuls are being asked to demonstrate their turntable skills while being sprayed with fake blood. The competition is incredibly fierce.
One insider whispered to Deadline with absolute horror.
"The new member must match our autumn color palette. You cannot clash with a blood-splattered boiler suit."
We hear the remaining band members are being incredibly picky. They want someone who understands the subtle nuances of hitting beer kegs with baseball bats. It is a very delicate art form.
Wilson has not publicly commented on the tragedy. He is likely retreating to his country estate to heal and drink herbal tea. We can only hope both parties find peace until the mosh pits fill up again.
