The Kremlin says the disagreement between Washington and Kyiv has done more to protect Russian oil refineries than any air defence unit it owns.
The Kremlin has pinned a state medal on the disagreement between Washington and Kyiv over striking Russian oil refineries, calling it Russia's most effective defence of the year. Washington says it did not consent to being decorated, and Kyiv says nobody asked it about the speech. Both confirm the rift is still on schedule.
The ribbon came up short. Moscow's state awards workshop admitted on Saturday that its standard pin fitting would not hold, because the recipient of Russia's newest decoration has no chest, no lapel and no fixed address.
The recipient is the argument between Washington and Kyiv over whether Ukraine may strike Russian oil refineries. The Kremlin has given it the Order for Merit to the Fatherland, third class. It is the first time the honour has gone to a disagreement rather than a person.
I have stood in a great many gilded rooms watching men pin things on other men for services nobody will admit to. The tailoring was better in 1938. The logic was identical.
Kremlin protocol director Arkady Suvorin read the citation himself. "This disagreement has shielded more refinery capacity than any system we have fielded," he said. "It asked for nothing. It burned no fuel. It arrived from the west, which is unusual for things that help us."
The citation runs to three paragraphs and praises the rift for "sustained and selfless inaction". The ceremony lasted three minutes. An aide held the medal up to an empty patch of air near the window while a brass band played, and officials applauded the space with real warmth.
"We considered awarding the Americans directly," Suvorin said. "But the argument did the work. The Americans merely hosted it."
Washington did not take it well. "The United States did not consent to being decorated," said State Department deputy spokesman Harlan Pruitt. "We regard this medal as a provocation." He then confirmed that the disagreement itself remains in place and on schedule.
Kyiv was briefer. "Nobody consulted us about the acceptance speech," said foreign ministry adviser Oksana Melnychenko. "We would have liked a say, since we are half of the thing being honoured. This is a familiar feeling."
Analysts have spent the week explaining how Putin might exploit the divide. He has now saved them the trouble by issuing a press release and a ribbon. It is a courtesy Suez never extended.
The medal will go on display in the Kremlin museum, in a case between a treaty nobody kept and a map nobody updated. Visitors will be able to view it on Saturdays. Suvorin expects the exhibit to need a larger case by spring, since the rift is still growing and the workshop has been asked to prepare a second class.
I asked a guard whether the award could be revoked if the two capitals made up. He laughed for some time. Then he said that in his experience the case only ever gets bigger, and went back to watching the empty air.
