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ScienceSatire

I melted 26 ice cubes to explain the Nepal-Tibet collapse

A sink trial of twenty-six ice blocks now explains the flood in Nepal and Tibet

1 min read
Close cold window light on a laboratory wet bench as a researcher cropped at the elbows tips a metal tray of ice blocks into a deep sink, meltwater already.

Ice sat down. That is now the cause of the Nepal-Tibet glacier collapse. I measured it myself.

A huge piece of ice fell from a high glacier into a river and the flood followed in Nepal and Tibet. Field teams mapped that fall in reports from Phys.org and the BBC. I did not climb the mountain. I stayed in the lab.

We froze twenty-six blocks on Tuesday and lined them on a steel counter. The control group was twenty-six cups of tap water left in the same room. The water did nothing. Each block of ice lowered itself, turned to a puddle, and spread toward the drain. The chance this happened by luck is very small. Scientists call that small chance a p-value. A p-value is a number that tells you luck is a weak story.

The glacier did not collapse. It sat down.

We have asked every remaining glacier to stay on its feet. None have answered.