Kyiv declines cushion at Russia talks after Trump calls war 'fine'

Fourteen American universities announced on Thursday that they will send a joint delegation of peace-studies faculty to any future Russia-Ukraine talks. The delegation's stated goal is to make sure both parties "feel heard."

The move follows President Donald Trump's remark that what Russia is doing in Ukraine is "fine." Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Bill Taylor has pushed back on the president's turn toward Moscow. The new coalition says both men are missing the point.

"Nobody in this conflict has done the work," said Dr. Marisol Tenbrink-Adeyemi, who directs the Coalition for Trauma-Informed Ceasefire and teaches Decolonial Conflict Somatics. "We are here to hold space. For everyone. Including the tanks."

A fourteen-page framework

The coalition's framework runs to fourteen pages and reclassifies the full-scale invasion as a "relational rupture." The word "invasion" appears once, in a footnote, flagged as "potentially activating."

Before any session touches on borders, each delegation must complete a feelings wheel. Russia and Ukraine will then share one thing they appreciate about the other. The framework suggests Ukraine open with "your literature."

Participants may only describe events using "I statements." A sample script offers Ukraine the line: "I feel occupied when you occupy me." Russia's suggested response is: "I hear that, and I am curious about where that feeling lives in your body."

Those of us who have sat in circle know the power of this. A missile is a message. The framework simply asks who is going to receive it with an open heart.

'Fine' is not a feeling

The coalition had gentle words for the president. Dr. Tenbrink-Adeyemi called his use of "fine" a "textbook minimising statement" and a "bid for connection that landed as a wall."

"'Fine' is what my father said when the dog died," she told reporters. "It is what a nation says when it has not yet grieved its own ambivalence about democracy promotion."

"We do not blame the president. We invite him. The framework has a chair for every part of him, including the part that admires strongmen."

The coalition confirmed it has also mailed the president a feelings wheel. A spokesperson said it was "the large-print one."

Moscow is 'open to the circle'

The Kremlin reacted warmly. A spokesperson for Russia's newly created Office of Relational Wellness said Moscow was "open to the circle" and asked whether it could be held in Donetsk.¹

The office added that Russia had done "a great deal of inner work" since 2022 and now identified its needs as "safety, respect and roughly a fifth of its neighbour." The coalition praised this as "a vulnerable share."

Russia has separately said it is willing to resume talks after a visit from U.S. envoy Steve Witkoff. The coalition described this as "Russia reaching out from its wounded place."

Kyiv declines the cushion

Ukraine's response was shorter. "We have been clear about our needs for four years," said Oksana Levchenko-Hart, a spokesperson for the Ukrainian delegation. "Our need is for the missiles to stop. You can write that on the wheel."

The coalition pushed back. Dr. Tenbrink-Adeyemi said that "stop" is a demand, not a need, and that demands "shut down the nervous system of the room."

"We are not asking Ukraine to accept what is happening," she said. "We are asking Ukraine to accept that what is happening is happening. Radical acceptance is not the same as agreement. It just looks identical from the outside."

Ms. Levchenko-Hart did not respond to a follow-up question about where she felt that in her body.

Attachment and bandwidth

The framework also addresses a report that Elon Musk, not the president, ordered the Starlink throttling that blindsided Ukrainian forces. The coalition classifies the episode as an "attachment injury" in which one party withdrew connectivity "without first naming the rupture."

Its recommended repair is a written apology, a reconnection ritual and fourteen minutes of uninterrupted eye contact over a stable satellite link.

Thursday's agenda

The first session is scheduled for next Thursday. Participants will remove their shoes. Each delegation will receive a cushion, a tissue box and a small bell to ring if the conversation "becomes too much."

The coalition has asked Senator Darline Graham, whom the president plans to campaign for despite their disagreement over Russia sanctions, to attend as "a model of staying in relationship across difference."²

The session will open, as all coalition gatherings do, with a land acknowledgement. Organisers said on Thursday that this was "where things got complicated."

They have not yet agreed whose land to acknowledge. The current draft runs to nine pages and acknowledges everyone.

Footnotes.

1. The coalition said it would "sit with" the request. ↩
2. The senator's office said it had not received the invitation. The coalition said it had been sent "energetically." ↩